Most likely, you do not need us to tell you how beneficial friendships can be in your life, and you’ve probably experienced it at some point in your life. A good friend can help you through the roughest of times. Having good friendships can lead to better mental health as well as better physical health. But what if you don’t have friends that you feel are healthy friendships? Here, we break down the basics of maintaining healthy friendships and how to tell if your current friends are good for you.
Where should I begin?
As simple as it may sound, the first step in creating a nourishing friendship is authenticity. Pretending can be exhausting and if friendships emerge from this facade, they won’t know the true, beautiful you. So, remember to always be genuine. If there are those who don’t appreciate your authentic self, consider whether these are indeed the friendships you seek to foster. If they don’t like the real you, why would you want to be friends with them?
How to tell if your friendship is healthy
Reflect on your current friendships and ask yourself these questions:
- Is this a person whom you eagerly share important news with, confident in their supportive reaction? In a healthy friendship, you should be excited to share, and not afraid of how the other person might react.
- Do you feel comfortable asking for their support in times of need? In a healthy friendship, you should feel like the other person would be happy to help you in a time of need.
- Do they willingly allocate time for you, mirroring the effort you put into the friendship? Are they excited to spend time with you, and initiate time together? In a healthy friendship, it should feel like both people make an equal effort to see each other, or at least check in if seeing each other is not possible for whatever reason.
- Do you feel truly seen and accepted by this person? In a healthy friendship, you should be able to be yourself and a friend should love the true you.
- Does this person respect your thoughts, ideas and do they appreciate your perspective? Friends will always disagree sometimes, but a good friend will not make you feel lesser for having a certain idea or opinion.
- Are you excited to spend time with them? If you are dreading meeting with a friend, this may be a sign that this friendship may need to be examined.
How Can I Make My Friendship Healthy
Cultivating healthier, more fulfilling friendships involves certain practices:
- Embrace the art of active listening: Being able to truly listen can deepen your connections.
- Avoid comparison: Comparisons can breed envy, potentially harming the friendship.
- Sow kindness: A simple act of kindness can be a powerful catalyst for positivity.
- Respect boundaries: Understand and accept the limits your friend sets within your friendship, and understand that neither of you were meant to fulfill every need the other one has.
- Open up: Once trust is established, sharing deep feelings with your friends can lead to more fulfilling friendships. Vulnerability is good!
We all value a true friend, someone who is there for us, and with whom we can be our real selves. Investing time and effort in these friendships is never wasted, and a good friendship is priceless. Let the team at Center For Women know if you have any thoughts, stories or tips on friendship! And remember – we are here for you!
